• Amrita Singh

I Wasn't Supposed to Fall in Love

Disclaimer: This story is a figment of my imagination. Any resemblance to any person is purely coincidental. This post may contain adult or sexual content. If you get easily offended or are below the age of 18 please exit now. Reader's discretion is advised. For more information read the T&C and Privacy policies.

 
 

I knew it when I first kissed you and then again when we were entangled in each other. You were deep into me. We were following a rhythm and you looked me in the eye. Maybe this was the exact moment when I realised for it shook me to my very core. How? How can I love you?


Even as we rested in each other's embrace your face hidden between my breasts. I caressed you. Kissed your face, your temples, your eyelids. And you lay there holding me as if this was all that mattered. You and me. Those few minutes were intense. Something I have experienced once long ago and yet so much different.

And as you slid from my arms and turned your face towards the wall. I could feel a flicker of hope and despair all at once light within me. My eyes sting for tears welled up in my eyes and these tears were of regret. Regret, that yet again, I was losing my heart to someone who might not even care. I think at that very moment you too must have realized how I felt, for you, didn't say a word. You lay on your stomach facing away. Not saying a word as I got up dressed and sat on the mattress again. Contemplating. Should I leave without saying anything? Should I say something? My initial instinct was to gather my sling bag and run. Run from your house, your mattress and you. But I knew you would want to bid me farewell. And yet, when I whispered into your ears, "I am leaving" and kissed you on the back of your neck, you didn't show even a hint of acknowledgement. I was tormented. A well of fury and fear building inside me. I wanted to cry that very moment but I had a little dignity left in me. I picked up my sling from the Diwan and left the room as fast as I could. You didn't so much as glance my way forget about saying a word.

It broke me. The realisation of being in love again and I was angry. Angry about repeating the mistake all over again.

I shut your door behind me and walked as fast as I could onto the road. I wanted to cry out loud. I wanted to talk about how I felt but in all honesty, I wasn't even sure how I felt. My heart was breaking into million pieces at that point the weight of what I had figured weighing too much to carry. It was too soon. After all, we had met each other only twice. And I wasn't supposed to fall for you.

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